This is a delightful clash of cartoon legends. After analyzing their canonical abilities, the winner is Speedy Gonzalez.

Here's the breakdown:

Road Runner

• Top Speed: Often shown moving at impossible, blur-like speeds (enough to leave a roadrunner-shaped tunnel through cliffs). In Warner Bros. lore, he's supposedly faster than sound.


• Tactics: Pure, effortless speed. He never seems to tire or even exert himself. His running is a calm, natural state.


• Weakness: He's easily distracted by signs (especially those saying "DETOUR") and often stops to politely hold up a sign for Wile E. Coyote. This is a critical flaw in a cross-country race.

Speedy Gonzalez

• Top Speed: Described as "the fastest mouse in all Mexico." His speed is portrayed as energetic, frantic, and explosive.


• Tactics: Besides raw speed, Speedy is highly clever, resourceful, and strategic. He outsmarts enemies (like Sylvester) with traps, distractions, and quick thinking. He's a problem-solver.


• Weakness: Occasionally overconfident, but his cleverness usually compensates.

The Race: LA to New York

On a flat surface with no obstacles, Road Runner's pure speed might give him an early lead. But a 2,800-mile race is not a simple sprint. It introduces variables: terrain changes, fatigue (theoretical for them), and the need for navigation and focus.

The decisive factor: Speedy's intelligence and focus.
Road Runner's canonical behavior shows he will stop mid-race if he sees an amusing sign, a pile of bird seed, or feels like painting a fake tunnel on a rock wall. He runs for the joy of it, not to achieve a specific goal.

Speedy, however, is goal-oriented. He races to save his cousins, to get the cheese, to win the day. He would understand the assignment: "Get to New York first." He wouldn't get distracted. He would use his cleverness to find shortcuts (canonically, he can run through complex networks of holes and tunnels, which could translate to using urban infrastructure), maintain his pace, and stay focused on the finish line.

Winner: Speedy Gonzalez.

Why: In a marathon, focus, strategy, and determination are as important as speed. Road Runner has the higher theoretical speed, but Speedy has the competitive mindset and problem-solving intelligence to actually complete the objective without getting sidetracked. He wouldn't just run - he'd race.